I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You are the jesus of drinking
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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