Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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