True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He better not be in your backpack
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
