The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
