got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
