I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
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