so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
