A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
