Well douche your snatch and let's go!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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