Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
