Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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