I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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