he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
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Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
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We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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