she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
