wat bout pragnant strippers??
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
