Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Help. Why am I so naked?
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