Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
