is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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