my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
stop calling my apartment porn island.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
