I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
