SEEEEXXX PLEASE
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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