I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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