I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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