What a fucking waste of an outfit
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
