girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
