I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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