is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
