So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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