See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
