break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
