dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
