it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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