ugly people sure do ruin things
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
