I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize