There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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