on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
