weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize