My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
