the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
