Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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