the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
