He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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