he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Of course I have a pirate flag
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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