There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
