I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
