Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
