What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I supernannyed him into submission
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
