I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
