Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
