I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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