Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up under a house in Key West
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
