He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
