I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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