3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
