I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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