He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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