Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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