At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
