they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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