Porn is love you can see.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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