he wants to bone in the snuggie
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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