two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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